Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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