fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
