So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
