it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
