Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Come see our sink grown plant.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
