Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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