i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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