check it out our google latitudes are spooning
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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