i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
