You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
