I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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