I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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