the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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