woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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