he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
