I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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