Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do herpes really smell.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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