Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
