I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I smell like Dick and happiness
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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