he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
