I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Fuck appropriateness.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
