Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
