sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
