He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This house was built for laser tag.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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