Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
