I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
