Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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