Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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