It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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