I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
