So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
