So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
