Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
