I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
