Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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