its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize