my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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