Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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