whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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