The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
