You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
