lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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