She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
