sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
bring money and cleavage
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
