Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
