Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
