my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
