dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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