so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
