from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
