i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
