is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
