Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
