I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
