If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
