Me too!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
