Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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