I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
