let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
