College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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