You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize