I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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