i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
